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The Road Less Traveled

Schmoozing in the Smokies
by Sandy Summers

Spell of A River Town
by Diana Moes VandeHoef

A Journey to an Unspoilt Nature Preserve
by Habeeb Salloum

Getting There Can Still Be Half the Fun
by Chandler Perdue

Cave of the Winds
by Rosalie Robison

A Mystical Trip to Mexico
by Barbara Hilal

Discovering Bhutan
by Anna Stewart

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Archives

The Road Less Traveled

Schmoozing in the Smokies
or Learning to Love a Llama, Bad Breath and All

by Sandy Summers

He looked harmless enough standing beside the fence, so I stepped up for a closer look. A fat blade of grass stuck out from between his teeth, like a spinach salad remnant. A better look revealed bottom teeth, no top teeth--only a plate on top to mash his food. It seemed like he was smiling, teeth slightly bared, inviting my friendship. His eyes were gorgeous, dark and cow-like, with thick long lashes that would make any mascara model proud. His coat was somewhere between fuzzy and furry.

My llama and I were lining up with the other llamas and trekkers for a gourmet lunch trek in the Smoky Mountains near Waynesville and Maggie Valley in Western North Carolina, and I was making the most of my pre-trek time by attempting to bond with my assigned llama before our brief half-day fling. Llama treks are just the ticket for those who love the wilderness and want a little soft adventure but don't want the burden of carrying their stuff. Maybe their backs went out long ago precluding backpacking, camping and hiking, or maybe, like me, they are spoiled by years of creature comforts. I had never schmoozed a llama before, so I wondered if he might be playing a little game of hard to get, making me work for his friendship. When I tried to make eye contact, he looked the other way, like a child caught in a lie. I was worried we'd never get our new friendship off the ground before it was time to start the trek.

Our guide, Gale Livengood of WindDancers Lodge and Llama Treks, gave us our instructions. He told us to hold the lead rope coiled inside our fist rather than around it. That way, if anything happened it would be easy to let go. Hmmm. What could happen? Gale told us that the llamas may want to jump across the streams rather than walk through them, so we were to go first, quickly move off to the side and wait for them to jump across, if that's what they decided to do. (I'm glad I was listening carefully, because my llama was a jumper, and if I had taken two seconds longer to remember to step to the side, the other trekkers would have witnessed a wild spectacle.) Gale also told us that while everyone thinks llamas will spit at people, the provocation has to be pretty serious for that to happen; they mostly spit at each other. That was one less worry.

We started our trek. Gale led the way and Greg, an affable power company guy from Virginia, and his llama, "Cowboy", were next. My llama and I fell in behind, and bringing up the rear were Carolyn and "Spooks". I soon discovered "Spooks" was spooked by everything from tree branches suspended in his path to the Livengood's dog underfoot. Unwittingly, he was our comedian. My llama's name was "Tanji", but it didn't matter since llamas don't know their names anyway. You can call them all day long and they won't realize it.

I found out soon enough on the hike what Tanji was interested in, and it wasn't toting my stuff or being my new best friend; it was eating. I felt like I was on the road with a teen-age boy in tow who wanted to stop for a double cheeseburger at every interstate exit. Tanji stopped every ten yards to rip a huge chunk of grass from the ground and chewed noisily until it disappeared and he had spotted the next chunk. Gale told us to let them stop and eat, but to pull them along if they took too long. Tanji definitely took too long, so I started with a meek little tug that only resulted in a more determined resolve on his part. Of particular interest to him were the live pine needles that a late snow had felled along our path. To say he relished those pointy pine needles is an understatement. Tanji stopped so suddenly when he spotted them that each time Carolyn behind me found herself inches away from his wooly behind. I finally felt sorry for her and let her go ahead of me.

Tanji committed a fairly significant social blunder during our short relationship that I discovered before we were fifty feet along the trail: he had serious onion breath. I thought things were going along pretty well with us, except for his ardent dining, until he turned his head around and we were nose-to-nose. There was no doubt wild onions were on his favorites list along with the pine needles, because he blew a cannonball breath of them into my face. They must have been the Smoky Mountain special of the day, too, because they were plentiful, and he pursued them with abandon. If he encountered a particularly large patch of onions, he would lock in until it was bare and I was left trying to pull him away, much like trying to extract a toddler from her swing set at naptime.

I was busy inhaling the delicious warm air, an Indian summer in early spring, as we approached the lunch site built over a stream. Gale and his son Gregg unloaded the llamas, carrying our provisions the short path to the picnic area where Gale fired up the built-in grill and produced a baggie bloated with marinating chicken. My other hiking/camping trips have consisted of opening a few cans, if someone remembered to bring a can opener. I knew this was a class outfit when I saw the French Chardonnay making its way to the picnic table.

The llamas were tethered about 100 feet away and allowed to graze to their heart's content while we contentedly grazed over the lazy brook. Hopefully, Tanji would have his fill of the pine needle/wild onion medley he so voraciously ate that he wouldn't have food on his mind on the downhill trip back to the lodge. That, of course, was a definite delusion.

Llama Trek Info:
Lunch or Dinner Treks: $40 per person. FarCamp Overnight first package is Sunday stay in Lodge and Monday and Tuesday hiking and camping: $150 per person plus one night room rate. Second package is Wednesday in Lodge, Thursday and Friday hiking and camping: $150 per person plus one night room rate.
WindDancers phone: 828-627-6986;
email: info@winddancersnc.com;
website: www.winddancersnc.com.

Photos courtesy of WindDancers Lodge and Llama Treks